another homesick night for me in new york. so far it's an every other show kind of deal. first show i didn't want to be here. last show i didn't mind it. this show i'm ready to go home again. i miss going out with my wonderful friends, i miss mom's cooking, i miss talking with my dad about nothing at all, i miss brandon rhyder shows, i miss my family, i miss my kittens, i miss texas country, i miss real bbq, i miss all the wild times i had in dallas and austin. and i'm missing out on more by being here.
the vibe in the house is killer. my roommate has tension with her coworkers and brings it home with her at the end of the day. everyone snaps at her at work and so when she gets home she snaps at me and our roommates for no reason at all. people put me in a bad mood. i wanna go home where i can be happy.
sept 19. so far away. i stopped counting the weeks in hopes of time going quicker. i don't know if it's working yet. i'm still kicking myself in the ass for not following my heart. i hope this job does wonders for my resume. i hope i can get a job in austin after i leave. i hope that by following my head i did the right thing.
maybe one day i'll write a happy blog again. until then, i'll be a debbie downer.
ps, if you get bored or wanna share some love, send me some mail, it'll brighten my day immensely.
(me)
c/o The MacHaydn Theatre
PO Box 204
Chatham, NY 12037
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
week 6 : stick a fork in me, i'm done
is this experience over yet? i'm tired of people constantly trying to walk all over me. "oh, well we had it this way last year." "we were able to do this last year." "last year it was like this." bull f*cking sh*t. i was here last year. i know how it was ran, i even ran it occasionally. don't give me this shit. i've had so many people who have been here for years tell me that it's never been the way you are trying to get me to do it. suck it up and deal, i've let you get away with it for this long, but time is up. time to be professional.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
if i am missing or dead
so i have a surprising amount of free time currently, especially during the second week of shows. things will probably change here in a week when children's theatre starts, but only time will tell. but for now, i am enjoying my tremendous amount of free time. i have since decided to pick up a book. and i finished it in a surprising amount of time, to both me and those around me. i just finished reading if i am missing or dead by janine latus. it is a true story about a woman's troubled life, her choice of men (all of which abuse her), her (shall we say) over loving father, her family issues, and her sister's troubles with weight and men. it was a book i couldn't put down. a book where i yelled at the narrator. and a book that i recommend. i'm on a kick of true life stories about different forms of abuse, not sure why. maybe they make me feel better about my life, like i'm not alone, like i can in some sort of way relate. first was beautiful boy by david sheff, then if i am missing or dead, now i'm reading smashed by koren zailckas, next in line is tweaked by nic sheff. beautiful boy was about a father's tale of his son's meth addiction, smashed is about a girl's alcohol abuse, tweaked is the story of the meth addict in beautiful boy.
any recommendations from you guys? i'll be looking for a new book in a couple of weeks at the rate i'm going.
as a side note: i'm a total badass. i fixed a mic today. had to solder some wires back together. and now it's working. gives me more confidence that i can (and am) doing what i always dreamt. go me! :)
any recommendations from you guys? i'll be looking for a new book in a couple of weeks at the rate i'm going.
as a side note: i'm a total badass. i fixed a mic today. had to solder some wires back together. and now it's working. gives me more confidence that i can (and am) doing what i always dreamt. go me! :)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
week 5 : a slow week with needy people
i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, and i think most everyone else that i deal with did too. this blog includes a lot of venting and some controversial language. just to warn you.
monday was our day off. my roommates and i went into mass to do a little shopping. we left at a normal time. ate lunch. came home. napped. and then had family dinner. it was nice, simple, quiet, and away from the people who drive us crazy. but it is those people who have decided to open their big mouths. the "woe is me, i deserve all the attention because my daddy raped me as a child, one upper, attention whores". ok, i don't actually know their story, but i do know that i'm not ok with their attitude. and no one upstairs is. so we have since decided to lock the door to keep them out. and have family dinners and group trips not involving them. it keeps us sane. then they start bitching because we have locked the door, that we left early on today and didn't tell them where we were going. we left around 11am, not exactly early. and we didn't let them know because they didn't ask. and if i recall correctly, they did go to the river last day off without letting anyone know, even though the night before they said they would wait until we got back from our errands run. so bitch, please, do us all a favor, and shut the f*ck up. here's our biggest problem with these people who live below us: they have their own tv, their own kitchen, their own living room, their own everything, but they feel they have to come upstairs to use our cooking supplies and our kitchen when there is already 5 of us in there trying to f*cking cook. they have to come use our living room, and trash it, because we do not feel the need to go drink with them every f*cking night. they have to come use our tv because theirs isn't as big as ours. OUR LIVING ROOM IS NOT YOUR PLAYROOM. it's where we LIVE. it's part of OUR house, where we can just sit on the couch looking at our computers in peace. but when you come invade our space, we are banished to our rooms because we don't want to hear about you're better than us. f*cking hell. luckily one of the people has left. however, we have the one still here that i cannot stand. and she tries to be cute and speak in some accent which sounds like 7 different languages combined, and that's when i can't be near her for more than 2.5 minutes. and we all want to punch her in the vag after that.
tues everyone went to work. well, everyone but me. i stayed at home to work on my design for the next show. it's peaceful and quiet there when everyone is at work, it's a great work environment for me. but then everyone likes to complain that i'm not at the theatre so i must not be working, i must have taken an extra day off. no, i haven't. and remember those days that you came home early last week, yeah, remember how i stayed late. oh, yeah, that's right. we're even bitch. you come home early, i go to work extra late because i stay late. suck my ass.
today is wednesday. two shows. i'm tired of this show. luckily we close sun night. i woke up with everyone else, went into work with everyone else, even though i know i'll be here later than everyone. and today i wanted coffee to start my morning. but no. someone who used the coffee maker last time didn't clean it. when i make coffee for the house, i clean the pot so it can be used the next day. bitch.
13 weeks until i don't have to pick up after these slobs. 13 weeks until i don't have to deal with the loud mouth. 13 weeks until i can be in his CLEAN apartment. 13 long and painful weeks.
monday was our day off. my roommates and i went into mass to do a little shopping. we left at a normal time. ate lunch. came home. napped. and then had family dinner. it was nice, simple, quiet, and away from the people who drive us crazy. but it is those people who have decided to open their big mouths. the "woe is me, i deserve all the attention because my daddy raped me as a child, one upper, attention whores". ok, i don't actually know their story, but i do know that i'm not ok with their attitude. and no one upstairs is. so we have since decided to lock the door to keep them out. and have family dinners and group trips not involving them. it keeps us sane. then they start bitching because we have locked the door, that we left early on today and didn't tell them where we were going. we left around 11am, not exactly early. and we didn't let them know because they didn't ask. and if i recall correctly, they did go to the river last day off without letting anyone know, even though the night before they said they would wait until we got back from our errands run. so bitch, please, do us all a favor, and shut the f*ck up. here's our biggest problem with these people who live below us: they have their own tv, their own kitchen, their own living room, their own everything, but they feel they have to come upstairs to use our cooking supplies and our kitchen when there is already 5 of us in there trying to f*cking cook. they have to come use our living room, and trash it, because we do not feel the need to go drink with them every f*cking night. they have to come use our tv because theirs isn't as big as ours. OUR LIVING ROOM IS NOT YOUR PLAYROOM. it's where we LIVE. it's part of OUR house, where we can just sit on the couch looking at our computers in peace. but when you come invade our space, we are banished to our rooms because we don't want to hear about you're better than us. f*cking hell. luckily one of the people has left. however, we have the one still here that i cannot stand. and she tries to be cute and speak in some accent which sounds like 7 different languages combined, and that's when i can't be near her for more than 2.5 minutes. and we all want to punch her in the vag after that.
tues everyone went to work. well, everyone but me. i stayed at home to work on my design for the next show. it's peaceful and quiet there when everyone is at work, it's a great work environment for me. but then everyone likes to complain that i'm not at the theatre so i must not be working, i must have taken an extra day off. no, i haven't. and remember those days that you came home early last week, yeah, remember how i stayed late. oh, yeah, that's right. we're even bitch. you come home early, i go to work extra late because i stay late. suck my ass.
today is wednesday. two shows. i'm tired of this show. luckily we close sun night. i woke up with everyone else, went into work with everyone else, even though i know i'll be here later than everyone. and today i wanted coffee to start my morning. but no. someone who used the coffee maker last time didn't clean it. when i make coffee for the house, i clean the pot so it can be used the next day. bitch.
13 weeks until i don't have to pick up after these slobs. 13 weeks until i don't have to deal with the loud mouth. 13 weeks until i can be in his CLEAN apartment. 13 long and painful weeks.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
the people of bush
so i decided to inform you all of my living conditions. our house is called bush, short for bushnell. it's named after the street we live off of. there are 5 of us upstairs and will be 7 downstairs. currently there are 6 downstairs, the 7th will arrive in a couple of weeks. it's all girls downstairs and three guys, two girls up.
upstairs:
the carp- mostly vegetarian, eats meat once a month, has decided to go vegan once a week. health nut. eco friendly. hippy style. blunt. all around awesome dude.
the master carp- muscle head. but doesn't look it. rugby player. straight faced. hard to distinguish between serious or joking. doesn't smile often. hard ass.
costume technician- fabulous. flamboyant. lovely guy who i adore. messy as hell. doesn't clean up after himself.
stitcher- teeny bopper. takes hours to tell a story. tells you who she talks to during the day, what was said, back tracks, gets off topic, and by the end you don't know what was said, possibly because you just stopped listening. sweet. caring. overdramatic. omg, lol, totes type vocabulary. immature. but my friend and my roommate.
me- easy to get along with. down to earth. sweet. sarcastic. refuses to clean up after others.
downstairs:
props- awesome chic. arrived a week or two later than the rest. earthy. doesn't talk much. on her own. beyond organized. really cool girl who i could be great friends with.
stitcher- one upper. loud. her personality clashes with mine. i try to avoid her at all costs.
asm- pretty cool girl. clingy. follower.
tech intern- comes from a rich family. very privileged. this is her first job, and she's 20. no work ethic. lasted a month.
costume intern- very quiet. debbie downer. every party has a pooper, that's why we invited her.
first hand- unique. loves to party and have a good time. been on tour, and leaving early to go on a new tour. follows others vibes, but still really cool person.
wardrobe- will be here in a couple of weeks. met her before. serious about her job. strict. straight forward. individual.
upstairs has formed their own clique. we are on the same page with each other. we like each other. and merly tolerate those downstairs. we separate ourselves from the downstairs people. there is someone each of us do not get a long with, so we have decided to do our own thing on a daily basis that does not include them. i love the people i live with.
upstairs:
the carp- mostly vegetarian, eats meat once a month, has decided to go vegan once a week. health nut. eco friendly. hippy style. blunt. all around awesome dude.
the master carp- muscle head. but doesn't look it. rugby player. straight faced. hard to distinguish between serious or joking. doesn't smile often. hard ass.
costume technician- fabulous. flamboyant. lovely guy who i adore. messy as hell. doesn't clean up after himself.
stitcher- teeny bopper. takes hours to tell a story. tells you who she talks to during the day, what was said, back tracks, gets off topic, and by the end you don't know what was said, possibly because you just stopped listening. sweet. caring. overdramatic. omg, lol, totes type vocabulary. immature. but my friend and my roommate.
me- easy to get along with. down to earth. sweet. sarcastic. refuses to clean up after others.
downstairs:
props- awesome chic. arrived a week or two later than the rest. earthy. doesn't talk much. on her own. beyond organized. really cool girl who i could be great friends with.
stitcher- one upper. loud. her personality clashes with mine. i try to avoid her at all costs.
asm- pretty cool girl. clingy. follower.
tech intern- comes from a rich family. very privileged. this is her first job, and she's 20. no work ethic. lasted a month.
costume intern- very quiet. debbie downer. every party has a pooper, that's why we invited her.
first hand- unique. loves to party and have a good time. been on tour, and leaving early to go on a new tour. follows others vibes, but still really cool person.
wardrobe- will be here in a couple of weeks. met her before. serious about her job. strict. straight forward. individual.
upstairs has formed their own clique. we are on the same page with each other. we like each other. and merly tolerate those downstairs. we separate ourselves from the downstairs people. there is someone each of us do not get a long with, so we have decided to do our own thing on a daily basis that does not include them. i love the people i live with.
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