mtv's fear mixed with some toy story action

so a couple of weeks ago while i was running a show (you know, actually working for once), my roommates somehow recalled the television show developed by mtv entitled fear.  and one roommate found a bootleg copy of the show because they don't actually have it legit for sale.  and we started watching it.  let me tell you, this show is ridiculous.  i know i loved it back in the day (2000-2002) but that's because i was young and naive.  let me give you the details for this show, so you can follow me a little better.  the following is from wikipedia, the oh so trusty website:



MTV's Fear is an American paranormal reality television series that originally aired from 2000 to 2002 on MTV. The program follows a group of 5 or more contestants being left at an allegedly haunted location and led them on a series of dares over two nights to explore whether or not the place is haunted.

Contestants were led by guides to the haunted area. They were then instructed to remove their blindfolds after a predetermined amount of time, allowing the guides to slip out unseen. The area where they are taken is known as the 'safe house', which is usually a large room somewhere within the haunted location where no hauntings are reported to have taken place. This location serves as the group's base and is the only part of the haunted location with lighting. Every member of group chooses a color at random from a predefined list. During daylight hours, the group is allowed to sleep and eat, as dares only take place at night. Once night arrives, a computer terminal will usually pick one or two colors and assign a dare. This computer also provides the group with background information about the area. A member of the group, not assigned to the current dare, provides instructions from the computer via two-way radios.

Each contestant is given the option, at any time during the dare, to abort. However, doing so will cause the contestant to forfeit their share of the winnings, and they will be required to leave the group. Another contestant will then be chosen by the computer to complete the dare. After two nights, any contestants remaining in the game will be directed to the location of their monetary prize, and each would collect $5,000 (in the pilot episode, the survivors only received $3,000 each).
The dares themselves ranged in difficulty, often starting out easy and close to the safe house, eventually getting more difficult and further from the group's base. While most relied on simple observation (radio silence, EMF Detector), some of the dares relied on specific re-enactments of haunting events, and a few even dabbled in occult or paranormal possession (Séance, Auto-Drawing, Spirit Channeling).

 
 
just by watching, you can tell that this is all just a hoax.  the creators were able to get inside this young adults heads.  it is just absolutely riridiculous.  if you can, try youtube or whatever, just watch an episode.  it's quite amusing. 
 
 
 
 
on a happy note... toy story 3.  a.maz.ing.  no doubt.  we had a double feature couple of nights ago to remember the first two.  and we went to the movie theatre on our day off to see the third.  there was a group of five of us and the four who actually have a soul cried.  the one bitch who didn't cry made fun of us for crying.  she's a complainer.  it's what she does.  it's what she's good at.  and it's the reason no one likes her.  i'm not sure how she ended up going with us but whatevs.  toy story, that's the point here, fabulous.  go see it.  :)

tidbit

so how cool is it that i am currently working at the theatre where nathan lane once worked?  just had to throw that out there for you guys.  i'm sure there are a few others as well, but that's one that i know of for sure.  :)

smashed

by koren zailckas.  i borrowed this book from a roommate.  i would not have bought it on my own account, i'm sure.  it was painful to get through.  it was slow and boring.  but i'm the type that can't stop watching a movie after i've already started and can't just put down a book half way through.  i want to know how it ends.  it may take forever to get there, and it might cause a lot of pain, but i am determined to do it.  and i did.  finally.  it's about a girl's alcoholic adventure.  it's divided into sections: initiation, the usual, excess, and abuse.  each section tells a few tales subjected in each section.  initiation include titles of first taste, first waste, first offence, and coma girl.  each chapter is a different story, not always relating to each other.  it moved painfully slow, for me at least.  but it did make me realize that i am not alone.  in a few cases, her story is similar to mine.  while it's nice to no i'm not alone, it's also scary to know that i had a problem, which i'm not surprised at.  i did start to develop a drinking problem, but i noticed it and was able to retract it and keep it from further developing into a real problem.  the final chapter is the girl's only sober chapter.  it's about why she quit, how the world has changed by being sober, and how she sees herself in countless numbers of other females.  it was my favorite part; to see that she is better made it worth reading the entire book.  however, i can't say i recommend this book.

following your heart

another homesick night for me in new york.  so far it's an every other show kind of deal.  first show i didn't want to be here.  last show i didn't mind it.  this show i'm ready to go home again.  i miss going out with my wonderful friends, i miss mom's cooking, i miss talking with my dad about nothing at all, i miss brandon rhyder shows, i miss my family, i miss my kittens, i miss texas country, i miss real bbq, i miss all the wild times i had in dallas and austin.  and i'm missing out on more by being here. 

the vibe in the house is killer.  my roommate has tension with her coworkers and brings it home with her at the end of the day.  everyone snaps at her at work and so when she gets home she snaps at me and our roommates for no reason at all.  people put me in a bad mood.  i wanna go home where i can be happy.

sept 19.  so far away.  i stopped counting the weeks in hopes of time going quicker.  i don't know if it's working yet.  i'm still kicking myself in the ass for not following my heart.  i hope this job does wonders for my resume.  i hope i can get a job in austin after i leave.  i hope that by following my head i did the right thing.

maybe one day i'll write a happy blog again.  until then, i'll be a debbie downer.








ps, if you get bored or wanna share some love, send me some mail, it'll brighten my day immensely.

(me)
c/o The MacHaydn Theatre
PO Box 204
Chatham, NY 12037

week 6 : stick a fork in me, i'm done

is this experience over yet?  i'm tired of people constantly trying to walk all over me.  "oh, well we had it this way last year."  "we were able to do this last year."  "last year it was like this."  bull f*cking sh*t.  i was here last year.  i know how it was ran, i even ran it occasionally.  don't give me this shit.  i've had so many people who have been here for years tell me that it's never been the way you are trying to get me to do it.  suck it up and deal, i've let you get away with it for this long, but time is up.  time to be professional.

if i am missing or dead

so i have a surprising amount of free time currently, especially during the second week of shows.  things will probably change here in a week when children's theatre starts, but only time will tell.  but for now, i am enjoying my tremendous amount of free time.  i have since decided to pick up a book.  and i finished it in a surprising amount of time, to both me and those around me.  i just finished reading if i am missing or dead by janine latus.  it is a true story about a woman's troubled life, her choice of men (all of which abuse her), her (shall we say) over loving father, her family issues, and her sister's troubles with weight and men.  it was a book i couldn't put down.  a book where i yelled at the narrator.  and a book that i recommend.  i'm on a kick of true life stories about different forms of abuse, not sure why.  maybe they make me feel better about my life, like i'm not alone, like i can in some sort of way relate.  first was beautiful boy by david sheff, then if i am missing or dead, now i'm reading smashed by koren zailckas, next in line is tweaked by nic sheff.  beautiful boy was about a father's tale of his son's meth addiction, smashed is about a girl's alcohol abuse, tweaked is the story of the meth addict in beautiful boy. 

any recommendations from you guys?  i'll be looking for a new book in a couple of weeks at the rate i'm going.

as a side note: i'm a total badass.  i fixed a mic today.  had to solder some wires back together.  and now it's working.  gives me more confidence that i can (and am) doing what i always dreamt.  go me!  :)

week 5 : a slow week with needy people

i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, and i think most everyone else that i deal with did too.  this blog includes a lot of venting and some controversial language.  just to warn you.

monday was our day off.  my roommates and i went into mass to do a little shopping.  we left at a normal time.  ate lunch.  came home.  napped.  and then had family dinner.  it was nice, simple, quiet, and away from the people who drive us crazy.  but it is those people who have decided to open their big mouths.  the "woe is me, i deserve all the attention because my daddy raped me as a child, one upper, attention whores".  ok, i don't actually know their story, but i do know that i'm not ok with their attitude.  and no one upstairs is.  so we have since decided to lock the door to keep them out.  and have family dinners and group trips not involving them.  it keeps us sane.  then they start bitching because we have locked the door, that we left early on today and didn't tell them where we were going.  we left around 11am, not exactly early.  and we didn't let them know because they didn't ask.  and if i recall correctly, they did go to the river last day off without letting anyone know, even though the night before they said they would wait until we got back from our errands run.  so bitch, please, do us all a favor, and shut the f*ck up.  here's our biggest problem with these people who live below us:  they have their own tv, their own kitchen, their own living room, their own everything, but they feel they have to come upstairs to use our cooking supplies and our kitchen when there is already 5 of us in there trying to f*cking cook.  they have to come use our living room, and trash it, because we do not feel the need to go drink with them every f*cking night.  they have to come use our tv because theirs isn't as big as ours.  OUR LIVING ROOM IS NOT YOUR PLAYROOM.  it's where we LIVE. it's part of OUR house, where we can just sit on the couch looking at our computers in peace.  but when you come invade our space, we are banished to our rooms because we don't want to hear about you're better than us.  f*cking hell.  luckily one of the people has left.  however, we have the one still here that i cannot stand.  and she tries to be cute and speak in some accent which sounds like 7 different languages combined, and that's when i can't be near her for more than 2.5 minutes.  and we all want to punch her in the vag after that.

tues everyone went to work.  well, everyone but me.  i stayed at home to work on my design for the next show.  it's peaceful and quiet there when everyone is at work, it's a great work environment for me.  but then everyone likes to complain that i'm not at the theatre so i must not be working, i must have taken an extra day off.  no, i haven't.  and remember those days that you came home early last week, yeah, remember how i stayed late.  oh, yeah, that's right.  we're even bitch.  you come home early, i go to work extra late because i stay late.  suck my ass.

today is wednesday.  two shows.  i'm tired of this show.  luckily we close sun night.  i woke up with everyone else, went into work with everyone else, even though i know i'll be here later than everyone.  and today i wanted coffee to start my morning.  but no.  someone who used the coffee maker last time didn't clean it.  when i make coffee for the house, i clean the pot so it can be used the next day.  bitch. 

13 weeks until i don't have to pick up after these slobs.  13 weeks until i don't have to deal with the loud mouth.  13 weeks until i can be in his CLEAN apartment.  13 long and painful weeks.

the people of bush

so i decided to inform you all of my living conditions.  our house is called bush, short for bushnell.  it's named after the street we live off of.  there are 5 of us upstairs and will be 7 downstairs.  currently there are 6 downstairs, the 7th will arrive in a couple of weeks.  it's all girls downstairs and three guys, two girls up.

upstairs:
the carp- mostly vegetarian, eats meat once a month, has decided to go vegan once a week.  health nut.  eco friendly.  hippy style.  blunt.  all around awesome dude.
the master carp- muscle head.  but doesn't look it.  rugby player.  straight faced.  hard to distinguish between serious or joking.  doesn't smile often.  hard ass. 
costume technician- fabulous.  flamboyant.  lovely guy who i adore.  messy as hell.  doesn't clean up after himself.
stitcher- teeny bopper.  takes hours to tell a story.  tells you who she talks to during the day, what was said, back tracks, gets off topic, and by the end you don't know what was said, possibly because you just stopped listening.  sweet.  caring.  overdramatic.  omg, lol, totes type vocabulary.  immature.  but my friend and my roommate.
me- easy to get along with.  down to earth.  sweet.  sarcastic.  refuses to clean up after others.

downstairs:
props- awesome chic.  arrived a week or two later than the rest.  earthy.  doesn't talk much.  on her own.  beyond organized.  really cool girl who i could be great friends with.
stitcher- one upper.  loud.  her personality clashes with mine.  i try to avoid her at all costs.
asm- pretty cool girl.  clingy.  follower. 
tech intern- comes from a rich family.  very privileged.  this is her first job, and she's 20.  no work ethic.  lasted a month. 
costume intern- very quiet.  debbie downer.  every party has a pooper, that's why we invited her.
first hand- unique.  loves to party and have a good time.  been on tour, and leaving early to go on a new tour.  follows others vibes, but still really cool person.
wardrobe- will be here in a couple of weeks.  met her before.  serious about her job.  strict.  straight forward.  individual.

upstairs has formed their own clique.  we are on the same page with each other.  we like each other.  and merly tolerate those downstairs.  we separate ourselves from the downstairs people.  there is someone each of us do not get a long with, so we have decided to do our own thing on a daily basis that does not include them.  i love the people i live with. 

week 4 : people are dropping like flies

week four already?  that means i'm a month into this adventure.  the days are going by so slow, weeks are too, but i don't know where that month went!  14.5 weeks until i'm home.  14.5 weeks till i can see my family.  and my friends.  and him.  this is crazy.  i can't believe what i'm embarking on.  i got so used to living day by day, flying by the seat of my pants.  now here i am, planning, granted i'm only partially planning, for what i'm doing once i leave new york.  it's thrilling in it's own way.

however, this current part of my adventure, not so much thrill.  i got word yesterday that our third person is planning their departure.  ok, seriously?  three people are not happy here, not gaining anything from this experience, and so they have chosen to leave.  and these three individuals are not the only ones feeling this way.  we all are.  none of us are happy here.  we all want to leave.  but we cannot.  we need the money, need the job, need this for our resume, etc.  and so we will not leave.  besides, it'll cost a paycheck to leave, and i need that money.  i need this job.  this will look amazing on my resume.  and so i am trying to stick it out.  but there is a serious problem when EVERYONE feels this way.  the carps, the costume techs, the actors, even the td who has been here for 12 seasons.  and this mutual feeling comes from the front office.  and it trickles down to everyone.  and it's sad, really.  there is no sense of a group, no fun times, no stoopin', everyone is going home at the end of the day and going straight to bed.  no one has the desire, the energy, to have fun because the day drains them of happiness, of energy, and of care.  and so there is nothing keeping anyone here, except for that damn paycheck.  that's not what summer stock is about.  summer stock should be a time of working your ass off during the day, and hanging out, drinking, and have a good time at night.  that is what is supposed to happen everyday.  that's what summer stock is.  not this.  especially when we're only embarking on our second show.  maybe things will get better.  maybe people are still looking to get into the groove.  maybe, just maybe.  hopefully.

uninvited guests : before and after

BEFORE:
so we all can't get along with everyone.  it's common knowledge, a part of life, and something i've come to know and understand.  but there are some people that most people just do not get along with.  and she is our uninvited guest who keeps coming upstairs, one-uping everyone and their dead mother, and leaving her trash behind.  she has no respect for anyone.  she's a snob.  and no one in the house likes her.  and tonight she has decided to inform a few of my house mates that she is commandeering our television tonight to watch a movie that no one in the house is interested in.  and no one has the balls to say no to her.  i never see her outside of my house, so i cannot say no before she arrives.  mind you, she has her own television downstairs (where she lives).  but we have a 64 inch and it's beyond amazing.  so tonight, 4 of the 5 housemates (not sure about the 5th) will have to put up with our uninvited guest.

AFTER:
so me and two of my roommates were kicked out of our own living room because we did not want to be a part of the two (yes, we ended up with two) uninvited guests.  (side note: i'm sure i'll mention the details about the second one sooner or later.)  we were enjoying our time spent in our own room, and at some point we decide to make a random trip to denny's (it was the only place open anywhere near).  so we marched one after the other through the living room, across the view of the television, and went outside.  the best part was everyone, mainly the two uninvited guests, looking, glaring, at us as we walked past them, wondering what we were doing.  we made a positive out of a negative.  and spent some quality time together.  and my two roommates and i had a wonderful evening outside of the house without the uninvited guests.

week 3 at the mac : audio inputs

i love my job.  i love what i do.  i have a passion for it.  and i want to keep doing what i'm doing. 

currently i am the only sound person for the theatre.  i am the a1.  and i am the a2.  i run the show.  and i fix problems, even when they happen during the run of the show.  i would love to have an a2 on hand to help me because at times i cannot just leave the console to go backstage to fix problems. 

i love being the head of audio.

however, i know that when i leave this place, i will have to stoop down and be an a2.  that sucks.  i have to prove myself elsewhere in order to get ahead there.  i will have to do the bitch work.  i will have to prove time and time again that although i am a girl, i can do this job.  i might not be able to lift heavy things like the men in this industry, but i am a woman, and it's been proven that women hear better than men.

i love my job.  and i want to continue to do what i do. 

and not everyone can do what it is that i do.  most people are so intimidated by all the knobs, switches, sliders, and buttons.  and i love that.  because i run that.  i know that.  i know what all the knobs, switches, sliders, and buttons do.  and i tell the stage manager exactly what buttons to hit, what knobs to turn, what switches to flip, and what sliders to move to make the sound come out of the speakers for rehearsals.  i know what my presets are so when the stage manager, or his assistant, fucks it up, i can fix it.  i told him exactly what to do to make it work for what he needs.  and then i get woken up by a text asking how to make it work.  i told him what to do on day one.  it's week 3, i think it's week 3 at least, i can't keep up.  and he sends me a text asking how to fix it.  within thirty seconds of the call i returned to him, i had it working. 

i love my job.  i'm good at what i do.  i want to continue to thrive in this business.

in the news today

nothing else to do at work, so i'm browsing news articles everywhere. 

really bp?!  another "risky, temporary fix" that will first make the situation worst before they try to fix it in a manner that has little possibility of actually working.  go bp!  they deserve the criminal investigation.

staring at the tv is not good for you, but video games are.  alright then.  i think i'll stick with my tv shows, but thanks for the offer.

however, i will not be watching this one: mtv creates another series.  i have no words... just a blank stare.

you hear the possible side effects of viagra.... well, they are true.  some people are just complete idiots.

and in similar news... something that just makes sense to me.

one of those days to just sit around and wait

so things got better, finally.  had a day off, my first real day off in two weeks.  won't get another official one in another 13 days.  it's how it works here, one day off every 13 days.  whatever, i knew that coming in.  but my work load is so light, i have so much free time.

the day after the day off is hard.  i'm so tired.  i went to work at 10am, it was our call time.  i played around on the computer for half an hour or so, then actually did some work.  i finished my design for the next show, got my mic list ready, and i worked for about an hour total.  nothing else to do.  time for the sit-around-and-wait game.  i'm so bored.  and it's a bad day for that.  dreamt of home last night, so i'm in a weird mood now, almost homesick.  it happens.  and of course, it's rainy and miserable outside. 

i'm trying to have as much fun as i can here.  i know i probably sound like a broken record, but it's true.  i sometimes feel left out because my hours are so different than everyone elses.  i'm getting along with all the guys, as usual, and of course, as usual, not so much with all the girls.  i've never gotten along great with girls, i'm just not the girly type, i fit in better with the guys.  whatever. 

the asm pushed a pet peeve button today as well.  i have my board set for the current show, all the levels are where i need them, and she moved some sliders for rehearsal for the next show.  and she did not check the preset levels before moving them.  seriously!?  crimany!  luckily, and she won't know this, i know what my preset levels were set at.  the sm said we can do a sound check before the show, but that does me no good because there will be no one in the audience for sound check.  bodies absorb sound, so any check we do will be pointless.  as i said, luckily i know what my presets were.  and, again, as i said, i will have pleasure in not letting the asm know this.  i'ma make her feel bad.  no one touches my board.  no one but me and the sm.  no asm.  no md.  no one. 

i need a job for when i move to austin.  i've been looking at theatres down there, but so far most of them are dark during the fall/winter.  i don't want to bartend any more.  i don't want to get some crappy job in a store.  i don't know what i'm going to do when i get there.  it's too far in advance to seriously look into jobs, but i'm starting to worry.  as i do, because i am a worry wart.  i just want to get away from ppl here, get away from dfw, and escape to austin.  that's just me talking because it's just one of those days for me.  i'm a little homesick, i'm exhausted, i'm bored, and it's rainy.  awesome combo!