i run, and no, not to you

I run from hate
I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists
But I run too late
I run my life
Or is it running me
Run from my past
I run too fast
Or too slow it seems
When lies become the truth
That’s when I run to you

usually when i skip town i'm running from something. when moving to utah i ran from all the college bullshit. i was tired of that life. i was unhappy. i left. i ran. i ran all the way from texas to utah for crying out loud. then i moved to new york. again, running from the life that i established in a short period of time. i had fun when i lived in utah, i loved my job, i loved my friends, the job worked for what it was, and like all good things, it ended. and summer hit. new crew of people came in. got a different job. still loved the job. moved apartments. things were never the same. and my friends went with the new group of people. and there was more drama than any one person could handle. dear God, the drama was hell. and so i ran from it. new york was a different experience. it had its moments. never was the best that it could have been. but it was new, and different, and a much needed change for me. then came the end of summer. most everyone was gone. nothing was left. the job was done. and it was time to move on. enter texas again. i don't like where i live. but it works for what it is, i guess. i've met back up with my old friends, who i love and missed dearly while away. i found out who my real friends are. i made new ones. i ran into people i hadn't seen in two to three to four years, sometimes even up to five years. it was a trip. things never changed. i am having more fun now rather than when i first got here. i am enjoying, for the most part, my current life. it's a little monotonous, i have to say, but overall, i can't complain about my current life. i have nothing to run from. do i? i don't want to leave. i want to see where this current road takes me. but i cannot pass up this opportunity to go back to new york. this is what i want. isn't it? i'm peering through the peephole of one road i can take while staring through the open door of the other road. damn, i want to stay. i don't want to leave. i have nothing to run from. why can't i stay just a couple months longer, see where this road can take me?

I run from hate
I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists
But I run too late
I run my life
Or is it running me
Run from my past
I run too fast
Or too slow it seems
When lies become the truth
That’s when I run to you

the good, the bad, the ugly

I turned on the news this evening, the first three stories, the headliners of the night, are about death, missing children with a psychotic mother, and how the death of one individual might mean more bad news in sight. Why are the only things we see on tv negative? Why are we all obsessed with the bad?! Are our lives that awful that we must find something to make our lives seem better? Why is society obsessed with Tiger and Jesse? Who cares that they cheated?! Yes, Sandra is a great actress, a beautiful individual, and America's sweetheart, I feel sorry for her, but why do I, why do you, why does the entire world care?! There was a news article online this afternoon about Jessica Simpson not wearing make-up on her latest magazine cover. Oh my God, she's human! She's trying to show the world that make-up doesn't make a person who they are, and it doesn't make a person beautiful. What counts is on the inside! I swear, the world is driving me friggen insane! Our lives cannot possibly be so bad that we must obsess over other people's unfortunate lives?!

Interesting reads

Bored? Have some time to waste? Here are some links to some news articles I found intriguing, interesting, or just plain odd. Enjoy my lovelies!

~~~~~~~~~~

Are women blinded by jealousy? I know I can be a major jealous person. I can turn something completely Innocent into a lie or a cheat. It can be construed into psychotic I'm sure. What makes women jealous though??

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/7589591/Women-are-blinded-by-jealousy.html

I'm curious to see what happens when the study is turned around on the guys. I don't think the results will be anywhere near the same. Your thoughts??

~~~~~~~~~~

Should you move in with your spouse before marriage? Looks like no according to this study.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5840263/Couples-who-live-together-before-marriage-more-likely-to-get-divorced.html

Um, yeah, I see it to be true. Let's just first make sure you are together for the right reason, and equally important, that you stay together for the right reasons. Either way it goes though, once you move in together, you witness a whole new level of quirks from the other. That alone would make me want to split early. I've been there, done that one. Next!

~~~~~~~~~~

Always belived in a higher being or a recent development for you?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/7567077/Were-we-born-to-believe.html

~~~~~~~~~~

Have a head ache and don't like to take pills or medicine? We looks like researchers have found a new cure, lucky for you!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/7578899/Handling-cash-better-at-killing-pain-than-aspirin-study-claims.html

~~~~~~~~~~

Did man come from ape? I've always not been so sure about evolution, but I might start believing in it a little more now.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/evolution/7550033/Missing-link-between-man-and-apes-found.html

~~~~~~~~~~

I saved the best for last. Ha ha, get it? ;)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/7589696/Good-things-do-come-to-those-who-wait-scientists-say.html

Wanted: Your Opinion

I need to have a poll here. I'm going to do a comparison here for you all. And i want your honest answer.


Type A - The Party Girl
-life of the party
-needs to be seen by all
-loud
-wears outfits to be noticed
-on the go
-demanding
-clingy
-high maintenance
-wild


Type B - The Girl Next Door
-part of the party
-content with staying around friends
-quiet
-doesn't attract attention
-dresses sexy, but not slutty
-easy going
-sweet
-low maintenance
-good personality
-trustworthy, reliable



So tell me: Who would you go after?

Dressed to impress

Being a girl is an expensive task. Buying cute outfits and accessories, getting the hair done, all the beauty products, keeping the legs shaved, refreshing the nail polish as needed. All the effort for what? High heels hurt the feet. Waxing, so painful. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars spent on sexy tops, tight jeans, cute shoes, sparkly bracelets, earrings, rings, necklaces. For what? Taking an hour or more to get ready to go out. Why can't guys accept us for who we are? When I'm just hanging out, I don't wear make up, stay in baggy/comfortable clothes, and wear my hair up. Once I'm with someone for a while, I let my guard down, stop wearing the make up, and I still cared for by the guy. Occasionally, yes, I do like to dress cute, but not every friggen time I go out! So why do we start with this image that we like to always be dressed to impress?

Drove north as I watched the sun rise

So I wrote this a month ago, wanted to share it still.

~~~~~~~~~~

Watching the clouds clear away to the sun was like realizing I’ve ended up in a place I never expected to be. I watched the bus roll away slowly around 6:10 this morning. Took a shower. And decided my mental health was at stake here, so I should leave, and leave now. A rough ride home, the farther north I got, the more snow I saw, and the more ice I drove on. Lost control of my car at one point on a bridge that was solid ice. I enjoyed the cop just watching to see what would happen. As I continued on my way, I discovered I’ve become someone I don’t recognize. I never thought I’d be this person. This girl. Who does stupid things. Just to feel better for a little bit. Not realizing the pain I’ll cause myself later. As I watched the bus drive away, the thing that hurt the most was that it seemed like my dream was driving away. I enjoy getting to know these guys. Now reader, realize there is nothing there with any of them. Three are married, one in a serious relationship. Another, your “typical guy,” who I’m closest with, of course, such is my life. And two I’m still trying to figure out. Those two are my favorites. I want to keep going to get to know these two, to learn, to watch them do what I once dreamt. But I don’t want to be “that girl.” I’m not her. But I see myself slowly become her. And that’s why it felt like my dream disappearing into the distance with the bus. How can I not be “her” and still go out to learn? There’s a fine line and I’m walking it, hell, I‘m dancing on it. As I drove north and watched the sun rise, I watched the clouds clear not only in the sky but in my life to see what I’ve become.

~~~~~~~~~~

Currently, I'm in a different state of mind than I was a month ago. I've grown up, grown stronger, and grown apart. Still I search to see what I can obtain from these acquaintances of mine. Still trying to keep in touch with at least the one I can call a friend. But hopefully no more the "that girl."

Redd

One of my college friends passed away a week ago and I just wanted to share his obituary with those who knew him and had not yet seen it.







John Richard Morgan

John Richard Morgan (Bobo), 25, died Thursday April 1, 2010.
Services will be Thursday, April 8, at 10 am at First Baptist Church of Hamilton with Rev. Keith Felton officiating. Family visitation will be Wednesday, April 7, at Riley Funeral Home from 6-8:30pm. Burial will be at Oakwood Cemetary.

John was born April 8, 1984 in Clifton Tx. The son of Stanley & Diane Kreder Morgan, he was a 2002 graduate of Hamilton High School and a 2009 graduate of Tarleton State University with a bachelors in Theatre. John was an Eagle Scout and was active with the Tarleton Players and Hamilton Civic Theatre. He was employed by Dalton Drilling and an active member of the First Baptist Church of Hamilton Texas.

John was outgoing, friendly, and looked great in red heels. With his very rural sense of humor, John could fill any room all levels of laughter. John was a man after his own mother's heart. Anyone who knew John soon loved him. John had been involved in theatre since he was a small child. He was in several shows and, with his brother and sister, used to go to numerous shows and rehearsals with their mother. One of John's favorite activities in school was band. He was a drummer and you could tell because he would drum on everything around him.

John enjoyed playing video games with his friends. He also enjoyed playing D&D and watching wrestling with his Mark and Amanda and the rest of his "dysfunctional family". John loved spending time with Jaxon. They would just hang out and playing games or whatever else they could come up with. They were the ultimate Dynamic Duo.

John was preceded in death by his mother Diane Kreder Morgan, maternal grandparents Werner & Ayleen Kreder, paternal grandmother Wilma Stone. Survivors include his father Stanley Morgan, a sister, Heather Hansard & husband Andy, a brother, Hoyt Morgan & wife Alathia, a grandfather, Hoyt Morgan Sr, nephew & best buddy, Jaxon Hansard, and four nieces, Ashtyn Hansard, MacKinsy Morgan, Violet Morgan, and Scarlett Morgan, all of Hamilton, an ex-wife Stephanie Gazaway of Copperas Cove, an uncle, Daniel Morgan & wife Arlene of Huntsville Alabama, and a host of friends and family.

Pallbearers are Mark Thompson, Toby Gardner, Garrett Fulcher, Ryan Lester, Chilo Carlson, Miles Gore, Tim Anglin, Tim Weaver, and Curtis Bryant.

Memorials may be made to Hamilton Civic Theatre or the Tarleton Players.

Arrangements under the direction of Riley Funeral Home, Hamilton, TX.

A way to keep in touch

So we all know me. I move. I travel. I go where the job is. And this is my way of keeping those close to me in touch. I will post my adventures, my ramblings, and mostly my vents. Maybe a some pictures, quotes, movie reviews, song lyrics, what-have-you as well. I know I will not always post regularly, but I will try. Feel free to leave your comments, concerns, and/or questions. Love you all!! :)