week 4 : people are dropping like flies

week four already?  that means i'm a month into this adventure.  the days are going by so slow, weeks are too, but i don't know where that month went!  14.5 weeks until i'm home.  14.5 weeks till i can see my family.  and my friends.  and him.  this is crazy.  i can't believe what i'm embarking on.  i got so used to living day by day, flying by the seat of my pants.  now here i am, planning, granted i'm only partially planning, for what i'm doing once i leave new york.  it's thrilling in it's own way.

however, this current part of my adventure, not so much thrill.  i got word yesterday that our third person is planning their departure.  ok, seriously?  three people are not happy here, not gaining anything from this experience, and so they have chosen to leave.  and these three individuals are not the only ones feeling this way.  we all are.  none of us are happy here.  we all want to leave.  but we cannot.  we need the money, need the job, need this for our resume, etc.  and so we will not leave.  besides, it'll cost a paycheck to leave, and i need that money.  i need this job.  this will look amazing on my resume.  and so i am trying to stick it out.  but there is a serious problem when EVERYONE feels this way.  the carps, the costume techs, the actors, even the td who has been here for 12 seasons.  and this mutual feeling comes from the front office.  and it trickles down to everyone.  and it's sad, really.  there is no sense of a group, no fun times, no stoopin', everyone is going home at the end of the day and going straight to bed.  no one has the desire, the energy, to have fun because the day drains them of happiness, of energy, and of care.  and so there is nothing keeping anyone here, except for that damn paycheck.  that's not what summer stock is about.  summer stock should be a time of working your ass off during the day, and hanging out, drinking, and have a good time at night.  that is what is supposed to happen everyday.  that's what summer stock is.  not this.  especially when we're only embarking on our second show.  maybe things will get better.  maybe people are still looking to get into the groove.  maybe, just maybe.  hopefully.