week 6 : stick a fork in me, i'm done

is this experience over yet?  i'm tired of people constantly trying to walk all over me.  "oh, well we had it this way last year."  "we were able to do this last year."  "last year it was like this."  bull f*cking sh*t.  i was here last year.  i know how it was ran, i even ran it occasionally.  don't give me this shit.  i've had so many people who have been here for years tell me that it's never been the way you are trying to get me to do it.  suck it up and deal, i've let you get away with it for this long, but time is up.  time to be professional.

if i am missing or dead

so i have a surprising amount of free time currently, especially during the second week of shows.  things will probably change here in a week when children's theatre starts, but only time will tell.  but for now, i am enjoying my tremendous amount of free time.  i have since decided to pick up a book.  and i finished it in a surprising amount of time, to both me and those around me.  i just finished reading if i am missing or dead by janine latus.  it is a true story about a woman's troubled life, her choice of men (all of which abuse her), her (shall we say) over loving father, her family issues, and her sister's troubles with weight and men.  it was a book i couldn't put down.  a book where i yelled at the narrator.  and a book that i recommend.  i'm on a kick of true life stories about different forms of abuse, not sure why.  maybe they make me feel better about my life, like i'm not alone, like i can in some sort of way relate.  first was beautiful boy by david sheff, then if i am missing or dead, now i'm reading smashed by koren zailckas, next in line is tweaked by nic sheff.  beautiful boy was about a father's tale of his son's meth addiction, smashed is about a girl's alcohol abuse, tweaked is the story of the meth addict in beautiful boy. 

any recommendations from you guys?  i'll be looking for a new book in a couple of weeks at the rate i'm going.

as a side note: i'm a total badass.  i fixed a mic today.  had to solder some wires back together.  and now it's working.  gives me more confidence that i can (and am) doing what i always dreamt.  go me!  :)

week 5 : a slow week with needy people

i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, and i think most everyone else that i deal with did too.  this blog includes a lot of venting and some controversial language.  just to warn you.

monday was our day off.  my roommates and i went into mass to do a little shopping.  we left at a normal time.  ate lunch.  came home.  napped.  and then had family dinner.  it was nice, simple, quiet, and away from the people who drive us crazy.  but it is those people who have decided to open their big mouths.  the "woe is me, i deserve all the attention because my daddy raped me as a child, one upper, attention whores".  ok, i don't actually know their story, but i do know that i'm not ok with their attitude.  and no one upstairs is.  so we have since decided to lock the door to keep them out.  and have family dinners and group trips not involving them.  it keeps us sane.  then they start bitching because we have locked the door, that we left early on today and didn't tell them where we were going.  we left around 11am, not exactly early.  and we didn't let them know because they didn't ask.  and if i recall correctly, they did go to the river last day off without letting anyone know, even though the night before they said they would wait until we got back from our errands run.  so bitch, please, do us all a favor, and shut the f*ck up.  here's our biggest problem with these people who live below us:  they have their own tv, their own kitchen, their own living room, their own everything, but they feel they have to come upstairs to use our cooking supplies and our kitchen when there is already 5 of us in there trying to f*cking cook.  they have to come use our living room, and trash it, because we do not feel the need to go drink with them every f*cking night.  they have to come use our tv because theirs isn't as big as ours.  OUR LIVING ROOM IS NOT YOUR PLAYROOM.  it's where we LIVE. it's part of OUR house, where we can just sit on the couch looking at our computers in peace.  but when you come invade our space, we are banished to our rooms because we don't want to hear about you're better than us.  f*cking hell.  luckily one of the people has left.  however, we have the one still here that i cannot stand.  and she tries to be cute and speak in some accent which sounds like 7 different languages combined, and that's when i can't be near her for more than 2.5 minutes.  and we all want to punch her in the vag after that.

tues everyone went to work.  well, everyone but me.  i stayed at home to work on my design for the next show.  it's peaceful and quiet there when everyone is at work, it's a great work environment for me.  but then everyone likes to complain that i'm not at the theatre so i must not be working, i must have taken an extra day off.  no, i haven't.  and remember those days that you came home early last week, yeah, remember how i stayed late.  oh, yeah, that's right.  we're even bitch.  you come home early, i go to work extra late because i stay late.  suck my ass.

today is wednesday.  two shows.  i'm tired of this show.  luckily we close sun night.  i woke up with everyone else, went into work with everyone else, even though i know i'll be here later than everyone.  and today i wanted coffee to start my morning.  but no.  someone who used the coffee maker last time didn't clean it.  when i make coffee for the house, i clean the pot so it can be used the next day.  bitch. 

13 weeks until i don't have to pick up after these slobs.  13 weeks until i don't have to deal with the loud mouth.  13 weeks until i can be in his CLEAN apartment.  13 long and painful weeks.

the people of bush

so i decided to inform you all of my living conditions.  our house is called bush, short for bushnell.  it's named after the street we live off of.  there are 5 of us upstairs and will be 7 downstairs.  currently there are 6 downstairs, the 7th will arrive in a couple of weeks.  it's all girls downstairs and three guys, two girls up.

upstairs:
the carp- mostly vegetarian, eats meat once a month, has decided to go vegan once a week.  health nut.  eco friendly.  hippy style.  blunt.  all around awesome dude.
the master carp- muscle head.  but doesn't look it.  rugby player.  straight faced.  hard to distinguish between serious or joking.  doesn't smile often.  hard ass. 
costume technician- fabulous.  flamboyant.  lovely guy who i adore.  messy as hell.  doesn't clean up after himself.
stitcher- teeny bopper.  takes hours to tell a story.  tells you who she talks to during the day, what was said, back tracks, gets off topic, and by the end you don't know what was said, possibly because you just stopped listening.  sweet.  caring.  overdramatic.  omg, lol, totes type vocabulary.  immature.  but my friend and my roommate.
me- easy to get along with.  down to earth.  sweet.  sarcastic.  refuses to clean up after others.

downstairs:
props- awesome chic.  arrived a week or two later than the rest.  earthy.  doesn't talk much.  on her own.  beyond organized.  really cool girl who i could be great friends with.
stitcher- one upper.  loud.  her personality clashes with mine.  i try to avoid her at all costs.
asm- pretty cool girl.  clingy.  follower. 
tech intern- comes from a rich family.  very privileged.  this is her first job, and she's 20.  no work ethic.  lasted a month. 
costume intern- very quiet.  debbie downer.  every party has a pooper, that's why we invited her.
first hand- unique.  loves to party and have a good time.  been on tour, and leaving early to go on a new tour.  follows others vibes, but still really cool person.
wardrobe- will be here in a couple of weeks.  met her before.  serious about her job.  strict.  straight forward.  individual.

upstairs has formed their own clique.  we are on the same page with each other.  we like each other.  and merly tolerate those downstairs.  we separate ourselves from the downstairs people.  there is someone each of us do not get a long with, so we have decided to do our own thing on a daily basis that does not include them.  i love the people i live with. 

week 4 : people are dropping like flies

week four already?  that means i'm a month into this adventure.  the days are going by so slow, weeks are too, but i don't know where that month went!  14.5 weeks until i'm home.  14.5 weeks till i can see my family.  and my friends.  and him.  this is crazy.  i can't believe what i'm embarking on.  i got so used to living day by day, flying by the seat of my pants.  now here i am, planning, granted i'm only partially planning, for what i'm doing once i leave new york.  it's thrilling in it's own way.

however, this current part of my adventure, not so much thrill.  i got word yesterday that our third person is planning their departure.  ok, seriously?  three people are not happy here, not gaining anything from this experience, and so they have chosen to leave.  and these three individuals are not the only ones feeling this way.  we all are.  none of us are happy here.  we all want to leave.  but we cannot.  we need the money, need the job, need this for our resume, etc.  and so we will not leave.  besides, it'll cost a paycheck to leave, and i need that money.  i need this job.  this will look amazing on my resume.  and so i am trying to stick it out.  but there is a serious problem when EVERYONE feels this way.  the carps, the costume techs, the actors, even the td who has been here for 12 seasons.  and this mutual feeling comes from the front office.  and it trickles down to everyone.  and it's sad, really.  there is no sense of a group, no fun times, no stoopin', everyone is going home at the end of the day and going straight to bed.  no one has the desire, the energy, to have fun because the day drains them of happiness, of energy, and of care.  and so there is nothing keeping anyone here, except for that damn paycheck.  that's not what summer stock is about.  summer stock should be a time of working your ass off during the day, and hanging out, drinking, and have a good time at night.  that is what is supposed to happen everyday.  that's what summer stock is.  not this.  especially when we're only embarking on our second show.  maybe things will get better.  maybe people are still looking to get into the groove.  maybe, just maybe.  hopefully.