week 10 : i'm a hot mess

so i've spent all week with the sniffles.  i have an upper respiratory infection, a head congestion, a cold in the middle of summer.  this is my life.  and i am the only me in my crew.  i can't hear properly, can't function properly, can't do my job properly.  and there's nothing i can do about it.  i have no one to help me.  and it sucks.  i haven't gotten too many complaints (yet) about this show, so i guess i'm doing a good job.  we are starting yet another show, damn yankees, and i can't eq properly.  it sucks.  i hate this.  i need another member on my crew!  sad face. 

i feel like i'm growing apart from the guy back home, really sucks.  between my beyond busy schedule and his multiple jobs, we hardly talk any more.  double sad face.  hopefully things will pick up soon.  we'll see what happens when i get back.

i've realized that i don't mind being here, i don't mind being in theatre, however i am growing older, and becoming more of an adult and i now want to no longer do summer stock.  i could handle doing shows in rep again, i think.  i can handle a months run of a show.  and a build of more than two weeks time.  however i cannot  keep changing shows every two weeks, it's killing me, stressing me out, keeping me constantly on my old toes.  this is why i constantly want to leave this theatre.  i can't keep going on this schedule, i'm beat, i'm tired, i'm exhausted, i need time off, i need my friends close and my family closer.  i want to go back to texas.  i want to settle down.  find a steady job.  start a family.  but can i do that in my field?