a boy for every season

The time has finally come for an update for my life after the mac. I have since left ne behind and have not heard from him at all. I sent him a text and never got a response. Slightly upsetting, yet not surprising. He told me while we in ny that he had always kept in contact with me throughout our year apart, that is in fact a lie, the only time he did text me was out of the blue when he was drunk and/or heartbroken or upset. He used me to make him feel better all the while he did nothing but upset me and hurt me. And I’m finished. I’m through. I’ve had enough. I am walking away and I will never see him again and I’m more than ok with this. He can suck my ass. I wish him all the luck in his new badass job, however I hope he is out of my life completely now.


On my way back home I stopped to see ut because it was a free place to stay. I ended up being there for three nights and two whole days. I had a fun time there, met some of his coworkers, got to see some shows for free. I’ve not been able to actually sit down and watch a show without being a part of it in many years, so it was quite enjoyable. Of course I sat there and critiqued and compared each show to how I ran things. And I thought about how I would have done it differently. But I run my shows completely different than the way they do there. It was nice to see a theatre that was actually like a family, the way it’s supposed to be. My house was very distant from each other, no one really hung out, everyone was just there to do their job and go home. And everyone was always unhappy for whatever reason, no one actually wanted to be there. Not what I’m used to. I’m used to people hanging out together, going to bars, having family dinners, sitting around talking, just being an overall family. And this place was, I feel that it would be a good place for me to work. And the a2 is about to quit and his contract is almost up, so I might, hopefully, maybe, doubtful, but maybe be getting a phone call in a few months asking me to go out there. That’d be nice, but I doubt it. Plus I don’t think I can stand living with the ex. It’d be too painful, I’m still a jealous person and he still has feelings for me. He’s attached to me as I am to ne. I think I can still remain friends with ut, I’d kind of like that, he’s a good guy, I just can’t spend more than three days with him.

And now I’m home. Went to see my parents, they missed me, they’re glad I’m back. I just don’t feel like my room in their house is the place for me right now. It’s not where I belong currently, it’s nice though to be able to still have it to fall back on. Currently I’m in Austin visiting Austin. Things are where we left off. Texting all summer long definitely helped out relationship, we are not nearly as awkward as we were when I left. We know each other a little better now too. So we are closer. And it’s nice. I feel that there is definitely something here worth sticking around for. I like him, he’s cute, sweet, adorable, funny, and we have a lot in common, we also have a lot of differences. We are learning about each other, we are each full of surprises and it’s fun getting to know someone on an intimate level, it’s been a while for me, and I’m rather enjoying it. I’m still working out the details to see if I can in fact move down here. I’d like to, it’s a great place for me, so much culture and diversity, it’s city but also has country, there’s a lake, some good places to hiking, more places to just go walking, so much art, so much to do, so much food and alcohol. Like I said, it’s a great place for me, an artsy city girl who enjoys a good hike. We’ll see what happens. I’m on my toes for now going back and forth between Austin and Dallas just trying to figure out my next step in life.